How Perfectionism Could be Hurting You
Signs you’re a perfectionist can be difficult to spot, often disguised by your can-do attitude, impeccable work record, and often calm exterior. What these signs are likely hiding are burnout, overwhelm, and secret wishes that you could just have one night to yourself for once.
Perfectionists are often extremely detail-oriented and can spot issues from miles away. They might take on all the workload in the office because they know they can get it done quickly and flawlessly, even if it means late nights and weekends. And they are the ones that everyone goes to when planning an event or holiday because they think of every last detail.
While perfectionism might be a badge of honor for some, it’s actually quite isolating, painful, and is probably hurting women more than they let on.
Here are some signs you’re a perfectionist, and how you can get out of that trap.
Fear of Failure
Perfectionists tend to have a fixed mindset. This way of thinking does not serve them very well. They have extremely high standards and avoid failing at all costs, even when their own happiness is at stake. When something doesn’t go the way you planned, it’s important to look at it in a different light. For one, others may not know at all that your contribution didn’t go as well as you had hoped, and will still be happy with the result. And two, it’s time to shift your failure mindset into a learning experience. It’s only a failure if you didn’t learn from it!
Interestingly enough, fear of failure can cause us to not even start a project, miss deadlines, and in the end, completely miss the point of doing something. All of these can lead to a life filled with stress and anxiety. While it is important to aim high, being a perfectionist can actually hinder your success. And perfectionism will impede your ability to complete tasks or projects. It’s time to get out of your own way and do the thing even if you can’t predict the outcome. And if the outcome doesn’t go the way you planned, refer to the paragraph above this one!
While some people may see high achievers as intelligent, talented, or organized, these traits can be signs of a perfectionist. These people are likely to be highly self-critical, and they may be prone to withdraw to avoid rejection. These traits can stifle the expression of a person’s true self. You were hired because you are you. Rather than fall into self-criticism, it’s time to shift into self-compassion.
Always High Stress Level
Perfectionism can lead to a life filled with frustration and stress. If you struggle with this trait, it’s important to acknowledge it so that you can begin to delegate and “bless and let go.” Admitting that you’re a perfectionist is the first step toward conquering your stuck mindset and restoring your confidence. Believe it or not, you can learn to control your need to be in control all the time and take action to improve your life. This will help you live your best life and be even more successful in your relationships.
Critical of Others
In addition to focusing on appearance, a perfectionist may also be highly critical of others. Moreover, they may have an obsessive need for appearance and will often nitpick their family’s appearances, who is allowed to speak at meetings, and even stop others from doing what they’re best at because it doesn’t meet expectations. While you may believe that you’re protecting those around you from being hurt or embarrassed, you’re actually holding them back from being their best selves, and likely causing them to feel inadequate, stressed out, and frustrated.
Inability to Connect
When you’re overly focused on how perfect a relationship may or may not be, you may have a negative attitude toward intimacy, and have unrealistic expectations of the physical relationship. Perfectionists also have a hard time expressing their feelings toward their partner, or on the other hand, being overly critical. This can be a cover for becoming vulnerable with their feelings to avoid being hurt. But many times, vulnerability makes for a stronger, more authentic relationship!
Perfectionism can have negative effects at work, home, and in other relationships, despite the goal of having a “perfect” life. This is entirely self-inflicted, and can cause so much pain, overwhelm, and unnecessary stress.
It’s time to stop striving for perfection and live a life full of happiness, fulfillment, and yes, SUCCESS. I can show you how! Learn more about my 10-week program now and I will show you how I overcame the need for perfection and instead for Joyful Success.